Know when to Go

Do you hear it? The small quiet voice that is telling you that this is not it. 

Do you feel it? That gut feeling- that pit in your stomach that says it’s no longer right for you? 

Do you sense it? Do you intuitively know that in order to grow you must leave? 

Whether its a relationship, friendship, a job, or a support group- if you are on a path of growth and self-development, if you are striving to create a life beyond where you are now- at some point it will be time to move on from your current circumstances. 

But how do you know when it’s time to Go? And if you do know it’s time, how do you actually move on? 

Deciding to leave a situation that is no longer serving us is one of the most difficult things we will ever do in life- so difficult that most people stay in situations and relationships for much longer than is good for them. 

Why is moving on so challenging?  

We are hardwired to stay. Our brains kick and scream to keep us in the familiar.Yes, we even stay in situations that we know are not good for us because we so strongly crave the certainty that comes from staying put. 

Our brains perceive staying as safety. 

And not only are we biologically programmed stay put, we face social pressure to stay as well. 

We are a society that champions extreme loyalty and shared history over personal growth. We are taught to “make new friends but keep the old…”. We want to belong- to fit in, to be a part of the group. 

So we stay. We repeat old patterns in situations that don’t serve the best future versions of ourselves. We stay stuck in old beliefs about what is possible for us. 

We stay until it becomes to painful not to go. 

As the poet Anais Nin said ….“And the Day Came When the Risk to Remain Tight In a Bud Was More Painful Than the Risk It Took to Blossom.” 

So if you are struggling with Knowing when to Go….

Ask yourself: 

Does this champion the highest, best version of me? 

Who would I be without this illusion of support? 

What do I intuitively know is waiting for me outside of this? 

Can I be grateful for all that has brought me to this moment? 

Can I forgive myself for staying in order to feel safe? 

Can I wish them well and still say Yes to me? 
Can I learn to trust myself? 

Can I let go of well-meaning advice and opinions? 

And can I allow myself to know when to Go?