You bring the Meaning
If I had to pick a favorite mantra or saying that I lean on almost daily it would be this:
You bring the Meaning.
It is a little bit of magical self-talk that I created years ago and come back to often. And it reminds me that one of the most life-changing lessons we can learn is that the events in our lives are neutral. They are neither good or bad- events just happen.
We label. We compare. We judge. And then we feel. We bring the meaning.
This concept can be so difficult to fully understand. We have been conditioned to believe that there are good events and bad events. We spend our days hoping for more of the former and less of the latter.
Then when “good” events happen we feel good and when “bad” events happen we feel bad.
But it is the meaning we bring to these events that creates how we feel about them.
Event + Meaning = Emotion
And You bring the meaning.
If you struggle with this concept then try it out for yourself.
Start with a potentially minor frustration- being stuck in traffic is one we all can probably relate to - your first instinct might be annoyance or even anger as you start to add your negative narrative to the situation. But if you stop and witness the event without the label of “good” or “bad” you start to become aware- its just traffic. You can decide how you feel about it.
You bring the meaning. You can be stuck in traffic and choose to rage and rant and tell yourself a story about being late and what that means to you. Or you can call your people to tell them you’ll be late and use the time to listen to your favorite podcast. You can choose frustration or freedom. You control the meaning of this neutral event.
Events just happen. And It is our interpretations of these events - the stories we tell ourselves that determine how we feel.
You bring the Meaning.
This is not to say when you stop bringing the meaning you must become completely passive - you just don’t add your story to the event. And of course this is not meant to minimize the very real existence of big challenges and deep person traumas.
However, when you stop bringing the meaning in your daily life:
You become more peaceful.
You become more open and creative.
You become more resilient and resourceful.
You show up as your most authentic self.
You are a better friend, partner, parent and team member.
You align with the present moment.
So next time you are stuck in traffic, or a boring meeting or experiencing any other of life’s minor frustrations, just remember- You bring the meaning. You are in control of the story you tell yourself.
