Make the decision Right.

Those of you who know me well, know that I love big conversations. No small talk for me thank you, just big talk please. And more and more in my work, I get to do just that- have big conversations with my clients around life and work and hopes and dreams. 

Last week, I had the honor of working with a client who was struggling to make an important decision.This person was at a major crossroads- one that held real implications for their business and their personal life. As we weighed the pros and cons of each choice, I offered a piece of advice that has helped me in the past. I suggested to them that they just go ahead and choose one path and then go to work on making that path the correct one. In other words- “Make the decision and then make the decision right”. 

These aren't my words but the words of Psychologist Ellen Langer, who is most well-known for her research on mindfulness. Langer proposes that if you're struggling to make a decision, you should just go ahead and choose one path, and then make that path the right one. This might seem whimsical or naive at first glance, right? If we can’t decide what to do we should just randomly choose? What if it is a life changing decision like taking a job or not or moving across the country or staying put? As radical as this advice might seem, focusing on one choice and then making that the right one is the fastest way to peace and moves us forward out of the grip of indecision and the hopelessness of regret. 

Because the reality is when you're faced with two choices they will both have pros and cons, right? Both paths will have opportunities and obstacles . Both paths will have triumphs and challenges. They will be different experiences, yes, but that that doesn’t necessarily mean one is better than the other. 

We try to base our decisions on prediction. Our brains want to be absolutely certain that this path will be better than the other one. However, we can’t really know until we are actually living in the experience. You can only live one life so we can’t truly make a comparison. 

So if you are struggling between two equally positive choices and after careful consideration you still find yourself paralyzed by indecision or if you have already made a big leap and are looking back with regret, know that you have a choice. You can make the decision Right. 

We only get this one life so instead of looking back and spending any more time looking on the road not taken sometimes the answer is to just make the decision right.  

Find peace with the road taken. Make your choice the right choice. Know that all paths have obstacles and opportunities. Move forward with the conviction that you can make the decision and you can also make the decision right. 

Indecision is incapacitating. Regret robs us of our precious time. 

Deciding is freedom. And you can choose to make the decision right.